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Marriage is often a matter of the heart, but sometimes also... of genealogy. And in some cases, Cupid aims a little too close to the family circle. Yes, we're talking about cousin marriage here. A subject that intrigues, that disturbs, that makes people cringe... and that deserves to be talked about, without taboo but with a little perspective (and laughter).
So why is it forbidden or discouraged to marry your cousin? Is it a question of morality, genetics, or simply because it would make for a slightly awkward family reunion? Spoiler alert: it's a bit of all of these things.
Let’s dive straight into this question that mixes love, DNA, and social conventions.
Let's start with the simplest: the legal framework . Because if we want to know what is prohibited, we have to start there, right?
In France, contrary to popular belief, marriage between cousins is not prohibited. Yes, you read that right. It is legally permissible to marry your first cousin. So why all the mystery, the judgments, and the impression of doing something forbidden, as if a wedding dress were reserved only for unions deemed 'normal'?
Quite simply because even if the law does not directly oppose it, society has its say . And mentalities are sometimes more rigid than official texts.
The French Civil Code prohibits certain marriages between relatives, including:
Between brothers and sisters
Between parents and children (phew…)
Between uncles/aunts and nieces/nephews (except by presidential exemption)
But what about first cousins? Nothing. Nada. The text is silent. So it's a yes, if you really want to .
Ah, this is getting outlandish. Some countries completely prohibit marriage between cousins (like China or South Korea), others allow it without batting an eyelid (the United Kingdom, much of the Middle East), and still others allow it... provided you pass a medical exam (like Iran or Tunisia).
In short, it's like the rules of Uno: everyone plays differently depending on the house.
Okay, the law is flexible. But what's actually wrong with cousin marriage? Why do people look at us strangely when we say we think our cousin is cute, as if we were choosing a bohemian wedding dress in an unconventional designer boutique?
The answer lies in one scary word (but we'll demystify it right away): genetics . Or more precisely, the risk of hereditary diseases .
Yes, sorry, we take out the genes.
When two people who are very close genetically have a child together, the risk of that child inheriting recessive genetic diseases increases. It's a bit like playing Russian roulette with genes: you can do very well... or not.
And guess what? Cousins share an average of 12.5% of their DNA . That's not a lot, but it's not nothing either.
So, the risk increases , yes, but not dramatically. Some researchers estimate that the risk of malformation increases from about 2 to 3% to 4 to 6% for unions between first cousins. It's not double, but it's enough to make doctors wince.
It's often the clincher in this debate: "But think of the children!" And of course, it hits the mark. Because we all want the best for our future offspring, a bit like we all dream of the perfect Princess Wedding Dress for the big day, don't we?
So let's lay our cards on the table: is a cousin pair more likely to have a sick child? The answer is: yes, but not necessarily.
There are diseases called recessive . For a child to develop them, both parents must carry the same defective gene . And this is much more likely when you are from the same family.
It's a bit like both parents putting a marble in a hat, and if two red marbles came out, boom: genetic disease. With a stranger, there's little chance of both of you having a red marble. With a cousin, it's a bit more likely.
But again, it's not inevitable . There are genetic tests, health checkups, and a lot of precautions to take.
Beyond science, there's another very powerful factor in this story: culture. Because even if the law is permissive, family traditions and social norms, such as those that dictate what a ' Mermaid Wedding Dress ' represents in certain contexts, often remain very closed on the subject.
In the collective unconscious, marrying your cousin is a bit like cheating at Monopoly : it's not necessarily forbidden, but everyone judges you.
Admit it: if someone says “I’m dating my cousin,” you immediately get a little bug in your brain. It’s human. We’ve been conditioned to think that family is sacred , and that mixing roles is not good.
As a result, many people don't dare to make this type of relationship official, even if it's perfectly legal. And that's the problem: the way others look at it can be harsher than the biological or legal reality.
In some cultures, cousin marriage is not only tolerated, but sometimes encouraged . Why? Because it keeps property in the family , strengthens clan ties , or simply because it's “always been the way it's been.”
But in other countries (like France or Western Europe), we prefer that love looks elsewhere, far from the family tree .
A little celebrity break: did you know that Charles Darwin , the man of evolution, was married to his cousin Emma? Ironic, isn't it? He spent his life studying natural selection...
And he's not alone. In the past, many royal families married cousins to maintain power. And we all know the not-so-glorious results (hello Habsburgs), a bit like choosing a short wedding dress , thinking it will be enough, but without really thinking about the consequences.
But hey, if it was done at Versailles, that means it wasn't that scandalous, right?
Until the 19th century, cousin marriage was very common . People lived in villages, transportation was limited, and marriages were often arranged. In short, it was convenient.
It was only with urbanization, mobility, and a certain modern romanticism that we began to see these kinds of unions as “bizarre.”
After all this, you're probably wondering: "So, can I marry my cousin without triggering the end of the world?"
The answer is simple: yes, you can. But it's not recommended . Not because of the law. Not just because of your genes. But mostly because it can make things very, very complicated , socially and medically.
Marriage between first cousins is permitted in France
The risk of genetic diseases exists, but remains moderate
Social judgment is often the main obstacle
Medical tests can help assess risks
So if you have feelings for your cousin, take a deep breath, get a health check, and prepare for some tense family dinners. Link to a relevant article .
Cousin marriage is a bit like pineapple pizzas: some find it normal, others find it unthinkable . What is certain is that it is a subject that leaves no one indifferent.
But as with everything in life, the most important thing is to make an informed choice . Love isn't always easy. But with a little common sense, discussion (and possibly a DNA test), you can avoid many unpleasant surprises.
And if your significant other really does happen to be your cousin... well, now you know what that entails.