Let's not kid ourselves: getting married is easy. It's a few signatures, a pretty dress, a suit (sometimes too tight), two wedding rings, and presto! It's done. But staying married is another story. A true high-level sport, with no off-season, no substitutes, and no medal at the end. Well... unless you consider marital peace a trophy (and it is).
So, what are the 4 rules of being married? Not just on the day of the ceremony, eh. We're talking about those somewhat invisible, but oh-so-crucial, pillars that allow two people to live together for a lifetime without bashing each other with the remote control. Ready to discover the unwritten (but damn useful) laws of marriage? Follow the guide.
Ah, communication. The great catchphrase of modern couples. We've probably heard it before: "We have to communicate..." Yes, okay, but what does that mean, concretely, in a marriage?
Talking for the sake of talking? No. Telling each other the details of lunch or today's meeting? Why not. But the real challenge is to understand each other, listen to each other, and tell each other things, even (especially) when they're annoying. Because it's often in silences, like the ones we avoid when talking about the Wedding Dress , that problems start to take root.
A wedding without communication is a bit like a road trip without GPS. We always end up arguing at the first roundabout.
It's not about pouring it all out in a "I'll throw it all in your face" kind of way, but rather putting your feelings into words . "I feel neglected", "I need more attention", "I wish we had more time together". These kinds of phrases are worth their weight in gold. Because they allow the other person to understand what's wrong without having to play emotional guessing games .
Listening isn't about waiting for the other person to finish speaking to say what YOU think. It's about making room for what the other person is saying . Even if it annoys you, even if you don't understand right away. Just listen. The rest will come later.
Spoiler: You won't always think the same. You won't always feel the same. And that's okay. It's not a marriage bug, it's the heart of the program . As long as you can talk it through, adjust it, compromise without denying yourself... you're done.
Respect is a word often plastered on school signs or in advertising campaigns against incivility. But in a wedding, whether it's a simple wedding dress or a grand ceremony, it's the foundation of the foundation. Without respect, everything else collapses.
And be careful, we're not just talking about saying "thank you" and "please" (even if that helps, eh). Respect is much broader .
We don't get married to change each other. Well, if you're going with that in mind, we wish you good luck. Accepting your partner with their qualities AND their faults is the real challenge. It doesn't mean tolerating everything, but learning to live with what will probably never change.
Do you like sleeping in, is he/she the type to get up at 6 a.m. to do yoga? So much the better. Marriage isn't about being two clones , it's about managing to make two different worlds coexist without stepping on each other's toes.
Humor is great. But beware of disguised barbs , of hurtful “jokes.” Respect also means never using others as an emotional punching bag , even under the pretext of laughing.
Complicity is that little something that makes it so that even after 10, 15, or 30 years, you still laugh together over a private joke as old as time. It's what transforms a couple into a duo. And frankly, without it, even the most beautiful country wedding dress wouldn't be enough to save a marriage that's become a shared apartment with shared bills.
Sunday morning coffee, watching TV series together, that silly little nickname you don't admit to in public... All these mini-rituals create a bond, tenderness, and remind you why you're together .
Yes, routine exists, and yes, obligations take up space. But don't forget to create fun for two . A walk, a restaurant, a board game... No need to go to the Maldives, just a moment where it's just the two of you , without bills, without children, without distractions.
It's a great bonding agent for marriage. Laughing together lets off steam, reconnects, and turns tense moments into funny memories . Even an argument about the oven temperature can become legendary with a little perspective (and a lot of self-deprecation).
Patience. It's a word that's often underestimated. But in a marriage, it's one of the most precious ingredients. Because, let's be honest: You're going to get angry. You're going to get tired. You're going to go through periods where love feels more like a roommate agreement than a torrid passion, a far cry from the perfect vision you had when you thought of that lace wedding dress .
And in those moments, what saves a couple is not passion... it's patience.
Love isn't a constant stream of butterflies in your stomach. Sometimes it's a little bland , a little distant. That's okay. It's even normal. The important thing is to stick it out during these phases and keep making an effort, without questioning everything at the slightest drop in energy.
Change doesn't happen overnight. Do you need your other half to evolve in a specific way? That's fine. But give them time. And be kind to your own boundaries , too. Marriage isn't a performance; it's a journey.
Are you about to say something you'll regret for three weeks? Breathe. Walk. Eat a piece of chocolate. Patience is often that little moment between emotion and reaction , the one that prevents many clashes.
You thought it was good? That it would just go away? Too bad. A marriage needs maintenance, every day . These four rules are like the foundations of a house. But if you never clean it, if you let the humidity settle in or if you tear down the curtains in case of an argument... or if you leave your Long Sleeve Wedding Dress in a corner without taking care of it... it won't last long.
So, as a bonus (because you've read this far), here are some helpful reminders to nurture the relationship.
You're not enemies. You're not in competition. Even when you disagree, you're on the same side of the fence . Keep that in mind with every disagreement, and you'll see how things change.
We often take love for granted. But expressing it is just as important . Words count. And gestures too. A caress, a sweet message, a compliment in the morning... None of this is “useless.”
Holey sweatpants and mismatched socks have their charm (sometimes), but remember to stay seductive. For the other person, and for yourself. Feel good, make yourself beautiful, change your routine. Desire can be cultivated. You can consult this guide to learn more about the rules to follow in a marriage link .
Being married isn't just about a ring on your finger or a name on a mailbox. It's a choice you make every day , even when you're exhausted, even when you want to run away to the bottom of the garden. And for it to work, you need to:
Talking, even when it's not fun (communication)
Respect yourself deeply, even in the smallest details
Maintaining complicity, like a fire that we never let go out
Showing almost supernatural (but so life-saving) patience
So yes, it's not a romantic comedy every day. But when it works, when love lasts despite everything... it's one of the most beautiful human adventures . And frankly, it's well worth a few concessions (and a shared pizza on a Sunday night in pajamas).